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” Or “I won’t do what those actresses do, and it’s not fair to compare me to them? Porn has been on earth forever, and it isn’t going away." Unless a man looks at a woman and says she should look like a porn actress or perform like a porn actress, the woman shouldn’t say it to herself. Plenty of couples manage a satisfying sex life while one (or both) of them is a porn-watcher.But analyses by sex indicted significant results for men only.Does Viewing Pornography Reduce Marital Quality Over Time?Thanks, Marty for a refreshing and accurate response to the myriad of "anti-porn" articles that keep appearing. It appears that all studies report that men’s porn use is linked to poorer sexual and relationship satisfaction.Some of these studies are longitudinal, thus implying causation.So to help—not to criticize—I also offer the following questions for women who are in agony about their mate’s porn use: * Why do you feel you have a right to a porn-free house, and why is that right more important than your husband’s right to have porn in his house?* Why do you give your husband’s porn-watching meaning that he doesn’t give it?
And most importantly, * If you’re unhappy about your sex life, why not talk about that instead of talking about porn? Porn isn't the problem, any more than donuts cause obesity.I get this email from Mary, or Maria, or Mishti every single week. It's an inappropriate promise to ask for, and it's a foolish promise to make. * Women shouldn't go hunting for evidence of men's private behavior.The questions and themes are remarkably consistent: * Why do men watch porn? I feel sympathetic toward anyone who feels betrayed, and so yesterday I responded: Dear Mary: * Men watch porn because it's entertaining to watch naked women (&/or men) while they masturbate. * Almost all conflict about porn is actually about something else.And why do you believe that your interpretation of his behavior is more accurate than his description of it?* Why would you wreck a good relationship over his private behavior?
* Men promise to not watch porn because they don't want to deal with their partner's pain or anger.