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Posted by / 20-Feb-2020 00:27

Dating my ex boyfriend

Or personal details about the woman her current boyfriend used to get naked with.

You for sure have creeped on your ex's new lady's Instagram pics, and Britney Spears probably picks up to check on photos of Justin and Jessica and their baby.

We want to know who these women are, who are so enchanting to the people we love or have loved.

We want to know if they are smarter than us or more successful, or if they have a better sense of style.

Karen was my successor, the girl I thought about while running to Beyoncé's "Ring the Alarm," even though she had met Jacob months after we broke up, when he was totally fair, single, handsome game.

She might, like me and Karen, probably like the same things and, more important, hate the same things as you.

There is a reason we have disabled the Linked In function that shows us who looks at our profile and lets other people see when we check on theirs: because we are checking up on one another more than we are comfortable admitting to the public or to ourselves. Nobody forced you to make a secret Instagram account, befriend her, and screen cap all of her pictures. We're conditioned to be jealous of women who come before and after us; we give them special powers and invent mythology to support how they are clearly inferior to us while harboring a fear that they are better than us in every measurable way. The objects of our jealousy are almost always like an alternate-universe version of ourselves: They have something we could have, if only they didn't get to it first.

Somewhere out there, there is another woman who has been naked with some of the same men you've been naked with, and you know more about her than you should. I pined over my boyfriends' exes more than they did, certain there was some quality they all had that would always make them bewitching and irresistible, sirens who could call my boyfriend away from me at any moment. I didn't think, ever, that any of my exes' girlfriends were furiously Googling me, though I was courteous enough to leave them a healthy digital bread crumb trail of abandoned blogs and narcissistic Tumblr accounts filled with terrible writing and artistic photography to make it worth their while, just in case. We don't get jealous — really, truly, Google jealous — of people like Beyoncé or Gwyneth Paltrow.

I wouldn't say I was obsessed with Karen — I just knew a lot about her, considering she was a total stranger. I also knew her eye color, her brother's name, the last vacation she took, the names of her college roommates, and where she graduated from college.

Most of my friendships don't start with this level of research, but then again, most of my friends weren't dating my ex-boyfriend when we met.

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